Don’t Hide Yourself

Written by Kelly McCausey

Topics: Good Advice

This will be quick, it’s just a thought that’s been tumbling around in my head over this past weekend at NAMS10 in Atlanta.

Don’t feel the need to hide yourself.

I’m a big gal.  I have been since my early twenties.  I used to avoid cameras – ducking, running, putting up my hands – even cursing at the person trying to take the shot.

I didn’t like seeing myself in photos because of my weight.

When I went to my first live event I promised myself I would not do that.

I am who I am and I look like what I look like.

Last year I loved the pictures people were taking of me because my weight was down.  This year I’m not so wild about them because my weight is up.

But you know what?

I’m not hiding from the camera & I’m not hiding from people.

Yes, I’d like to be slimmer. Yes, I’m annoyed that weight seems to be an even tougher challenge since coming through my health quirks of recent years.  But no – I’m not going to go hide because of it.

At NAMS10 I was approached on more than one occasion by other ‘women of size’ as one called it with a message of appreciation.  One gal I met for the first time told me it was a source of inspiration and a confidence boost for her to see me up on the stage.

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I totally understand why she said it. You don’t see many big women on stages… it’s tough for people to see through a weight issue to value the person’s expertise and personality.

Here’s the fact:  I WANT to lost this weight.  I AM working on it!  I want the world to see an incredible shrinking Kelly again… but in the meantime – I’m not hiding.

And whoever you are and whatever you don’t like about yourself, you mustn’t hide either.  You’re robbing the world of the chance to love you and accept you for who you are deep down.

Don’t hide from cameras and don’t hide from people.

Get out there and be you.  When someone aims a camera or smart phone at you – SMILE :)

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29 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Tai Goodwin says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve had some health issues over the last year and have regained weight after losing about 100 pounds. I am not satisfied with the way I look or feel and I am working on it. In the mean time, I’ve made a decision to stop hiding and step back into the world. My body may look different but I have the same purpose, message, and brilliance of spirit.

    I missed attending NAMS this year, but I look forward to attending the next event. If you’re there I’ll give you a thank you hug in person.
    Tai Goodwin recently posted..Three Newsletter Ideas that Build Credibility with Your SubscribersMy Profile

  2. Robin Smith says:

    What a great message! But I think we are our worst critic and think we loo much worse than other people think we do. I thought you looked great! Wish we could have found some time to talk.

    We need to promote the message that the fun in life is there for the grabbing regardless of size. Yes we all want to be smaller, but waiting to live till we are is a waste of our time, talents and energy.

  3. Thanks for this post, Kelly, and well said!

    I want to let you know it was a pleasure meeting you at the Earn1KaDay event recently, and you know what I saw? Not a “woman of size” but a lady who had an amazing wardrobe and showed confidence in who she is!

  4. What a great reminder, Kelly. When I look at you I don’t see size unless you’re talking about the size of your heart or smile!

    You are an inspiration and one of the reasons I no longer care what the camera says!

    Love you much!
    Tracy Roberts recently posted..4 Surprising Social Networking BenefitsMy Profile

  5. Shan says:

    Hi Kelly

    I’m a big woman, too. Yes, I avoid cameras and don’t go out much. Having said that, there are plenty of people out there bigger than me and THEY go out, so why shouldn’t I?

    Great post with useful tips, thank you.

    Shan
    Shan recently posted..How to get CharismaMy Profile

  6. Laurie Ayers says:

    Bravo Kelly! What a fantastic post. I have been so many sizes over the years and it’s a subject so many people, women in particular can identify with. I am confident your words are inspiring far more people than you could ever imagine or know.
    Laurie Ayers recently posted..Scentsy Candles In PolandMy Profile

  7. Oh how well I know this one! Thanks for the reminder. :)

  8. Cindy Bidar says:

    Kelly, you rock my world! What an incredibly thoughtful and empowering post. Thank you.
    Cindy Bidar recently posted..Think Before You BlogMy Profile

  9. Zaidi says:

    you are beautiful, dear Kelly, your knowledge and your strength, that you manage with great rigor, is a fruit that anyone wishes to tasting the positive effect that emanates from your love for maintaining a solid body of ‘balancing and positive feeling

  10. My size has been on an upward swing the last year and I’ll be working on it, but in between wanting to be healthier (which is my goal) and the way I am right now, I have to live, be happy and be confident in the person I am. It’s easy to forget that and it’s what I love about this post you’ve written.

    Thanks as always for your authentic message.
    Sharon McMillan recently posted..The Business Case for Flea MarketsMy Profile

  11. Alice Seba says:

    We have all things we’d like to change, but when our real selves shine through, most people won’t notice those things. Great post, Kelly.

  12. Kelly,
    love your post and you are gorgeous inside and out at any size.

    Isn’t it funny how we sometimes allow other people’s opinion of us to hold us back? (“She’s too big / small / ethnic / short / tall / smart / pretty) I know I’ve done it a lot in the past. I decided recently that what other people think of me is none of my darn business and I’m going wherever I can inspire people. Even if it sometimes feels “uncomfy” for whatever reason.

    So proud of you for putting your beautiful light out there.

    hugs, Maritza
    Maritza Parra recently posted..Whaddaya Mean “I’m Only Giving 50%”?!My Profile

  13. Kelly, I’m so glad you wrote this post for so many reasons. It’s really motivating for everyone, since we all have some flaw or imagined shortcoming that keeps us from getting out there. When I’m at events like these I always have to take a deep breath and pump myself up when I’m alone in my room since I worry that I’ll say the wrong thing, or won’t say the right thing, or won’t know what to say, etc. etc. Worry, worry, worry. And it’s just as easy to use 5 pounds as a 100 pounds as an excuse to avoid the lime light. I think you’re awesome :)
    Hope to see you soon! – Sharyn
    Sharyn Sheldon recently posted..Content Quickie: How to Create Graphics From PLR Using Smart ArtMy Profile

  14. Kelly, thank you so much for this post. I am self conscious about the way I look and am really trying to get over it. I have been working to lose weight, but I need to lose more. Fortunately, my clothes hide a lot of it. I really admire you for your self confidence. Everyone has things that they don’t like about themselves. A lot of times, self doubt holds us back from being the best person we could be. I am so glad that I met you.
    Adrienne Dupree recently posted..How To Get Out Of The Corporate Rat RaceMy Profile

  15. Lori says:

    Kelly, What an enormous loss it would be for everyone if you were so uncomfortable that you chose not to share your expertise, talent, and very special spirit! You are an incredibly beautiful person in every way with so much to share! The audience and the world are better for having you in them!! By getting out of your comfort zone…..(hmmmm…..doesn’t someone teach a course on that? ;) ), you inspire others to do the same, but also do so much more! I love you EXACLTY the way you are!

  16. Dawn says:

    Kelly, isn’t it funny how we see ourselves and imagine that others see us that way as well? By speaking your truth, you are allowing all of us with all of our so called faults and issues face them head on and move forward anyway. You have become one of my biggest inspirations by simply being yourself.

  17. Millicent says:

    Kelly, first of all, I really enjoyed meeting you this weekend. The information you presented was very helpful. Thank you so much for your openness. so needed to read this. You had me at “Don’t hide yourself”. Thanks again and be blessed!
    Millicent recently posted..Lessons From a Young Homeless GirlMy Profile

  18. Thank you, Kelly, heart to heart your words spoke to me! I’ve hidden for some of those same reasons. It just doesn’t serve anyone. I’ve pulled out the measure for myself, when I don’t think to use it on anyone else, except to encourage. Thank you for stepping up and stepping out to be you! For now, I’ll just say that NOT erasing this comment and hitting the publish button is a baby step in the right direction, lol!
    Mary Gallagher recently posted..The Grateful HeartMy Profile

  19. Bravo to you, Kelly, for being “out” there and for sharing your story about it! Our brilliance is within – not how we look :)
    Terri Zwierzynski recently posted..My Referral Partners Aren’t Referring!My Profile

  20. Sheryl Siler says:

    From the ex shy girl I would like to say that not hiding has been so worth it! My willing to come out of hiding has allowed people to open to come talk with me and often it someone who just needs a listening ear. I’m so grateful that I chose (with some big pushes from my very outgoing husband) to conquer the fear. Thanks Kelly. Great point.
    Sheryl Siler recently posted..I Believe Just a Fun Linky LoveMy Profile

  21. Carrie says:

    Two things I have to say about this.

    First, we all have those voices that make us want to hide. Mine isn’t so much about my appearance. My voice says, “That’s stupid. Everyone will think that’s a stupid idea.”

    In Start, Jon Acuff talks about how to smash those voices. Applying those tips really works!

    Second, who are you to hide your brilliance? We really don’t have the right. Something else I read underscored that point for me. It was in the book War of Art by Steven Pressfield. He says: “If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don’t do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You hurt your children. You hurt me. You hurt the planet.

    Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”

    Isn’t that awesome?
    Carrie recently posted..Meal Plan (My Ebook on Amazon)My Profile

  22. Kelly
    Great post! You are an inspiration to all who know you, whether in person or on line. I’ve “hide” not because of weight, but because of the damage my rheumatoid arthritis has done to my body. Gnarled, crooked limbs and a stiff neck make me run from pictures. A raspy voice keeps me from audio. After reading this post, I’m nudged to expand myself and get out there.
    Thank you for your courage and openness.

  23. Reba says:

    Kelly, you are one of the bravest people I know. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that you speak on stage, meet people freely, and speak your mind. You are an inspiration for all of us, please continue doing what you do, it would be a great loss to the world if you ever decided to hide. Great post.
    Reba recently posted..What Do You Do When Your Boss Asks You To Go To Lunch?My Profile

  24. You rock Kelly! I too struggle with this and have really done a turn around these past few months. Google Hangouts helped me with my image issues a lot. I see the difference it makes and the way people respond when they see me on a hangout using my web cam vs. doing a screen share. It’s pretty amazing. Thanks for sharing this with us. It touches many of us in the “sisterhood of women of size”. Love that term! And love you!
    Celene Harrelson recently posted..How To Start An Online BusinessMy Profile

  25. Jan Riley says:

    Great Post, I totally agree. You hit the nail on the head with this post because I think most women of any size deal with this issue and it prevents us from showing ALL of ourselves – both online and off. You are a beautiful woman – inside and out, this post proves it.

  26. Markie Gee says:

    Perfect message for today’s reality-tv, media-brainwashed society. The thing that you may be trying to hide may be what others admire or desire. Do you, boo boo!!!!!!! Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes!!

  27. Kelly,

    When I was fortunate enough to meet you recently when you passed near my town, the last thing on my mind was your weight. I’m a big girl too who is working on being healthier, so I totally appreciate what you’re saying here. But, I also wanted you to know that all I see when I look at you is love. I know that’s not that very business like, but you really do radiate love and passion for what you do. It just seeps out of your pours! You’re an inspiration for so many reasons. I’m so thankful you have this attitude.
    Stephanie Watson recently posted..Marketing Your VA Business — Building a Mailing ListMy Profile

  28. Nell says:

    This, like you, is beautiful. I can relate now that I have put on 5o pounds from Lyme disease. It is so funny though that when I see you I don’t see your weight. Like many probably don’t see mine.

  29. lisa evola says:

    What an inspiration you are. I actually had never had weight problems till the last 5 years (menopause and all) and many do not consider me overweight now…but I know that I am up from my normal and that bothers me. I too tend to hide from the camera, and actually once I get ready in the morning, I try not to look in the mirror again that day because my perceived image gets worse as the day goes on. Thank you so much for reminding me of what is truly important.

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